About me: the human mirror




I enjoy the sidelines.

I can observe the outside world for hours from behind my catatonic mien.

I am a human mood ring.

I will radiate back exactly what you project onto me.

I am an ectotherm.

I have poor blood circulation and a slow metabolism. I rely on warm rocks and cool creeks to keep me steady. I take on the properties of my surroundings.

I am an emotional surgeon.

Dissecting a human character concentrates my faculties into the most perfect scalpel, precise and steady, and brings the excitement of scientific discovery, impersonal and clean. I will take you in from the top of your head to your wriggling toes, and nothing will escape me. I will probe you with questions and fill out your history with medical aloofness, yet there will not be a single second during which you will feel anything but safe and protected. I got you.

Don’t get me wrong.

There is more substance in me than most people can take in. There is education and reading enough to keep one occupied for inordinate amounts of time. There has been hurt and tears enough to know empathy inside out. There is leadership that can make for grand things. My shit detector will blow you out of the water if your compliments are insincere, even though I require obscene amounts of appreciation. I will snap at you with my crocodile jaws if you take a wrong step in getting close – approach me as you would a wild animal. I crave constant stimulus of intellect and humor and sensuality, but might not reciprocate the way you expect me to.

I could be a reformer. Manipulator. Fighter for a cause. Performer.

I am just as three-dimensional as the next gal. And it gets me off sometimes.

But who I really am is a human mirror.

What I do best is see.

I observe. I read. I process. And reflect back. There is nothing you could tell me that I could not hold or absorb. I will see you the way you probably never saw yourself. Reflect dimensions of you that no one was able to recognize before, perhaps some that have not yet become a part of your person. Any and all reinforcement I give you will be realistic, no lies and no lines. If you are ready, I can be the kind of mirror you never had.

There is a catch.

In this process, there is self-abnegation in me that is easy to take advantage of. Self-effacement that makes uncouth souls think I can be inscribed and defiled. I am incapable of anger. I jump straight into sadness. My threshold for emotional pain is such that I can cut corners on my needs to infinity, and you would never know. Such is my thrill of becoming attuned to another’s mind.


 


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